Archive for 'Humor'
Some Great Political One-Liners
Posted on 06. Mar, 2016 by Jeff Lambert.
It’s really too bad that any of these are funny or ring true. Ronald Reagan would be shaking his head and truly disappointed to see what his party, and the nation, has become. “Modern” day politics is a poor example of the greatness of the United States of America. We do need someone from a different mold to get all sides working together to lead our country back into greatness but from a mold built on the premise of integrity, intelligence and compassion.
If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates. ~Jay Leno~
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Paraprosdokian
Posted on 11. Jul, 2015 by Jeff Lambert.
Another email received and was at a level I felt worth sharing.
The definition of Paraprosdokian is “A figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation.”
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paraprosdokian
“Where there’s a will, I want to be in it,” is a type of paraprosdokian. […]
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Pilots Are Cheap
Posted on 24. Oct, 2010 by Jeff Lambert.
In a time when more folks are finding it difficult to get by, it’s great that those who have come before us are sharing the knowledge and skills they have gained over their many years of BEING CHEAP! Being cheap seems to be a badge of honor for […]
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Truths for Mature Humans
Posted on 08. Oct, 2010 by Jeff Lambert.
I’ll have to give credit to my nephew for sending me this email. Thought it was too good for just a simple forward. Without further ado… […]
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What Makes a School Great? Guns?
Posted on 14. Sep, 2010 by Jeff Lambert.
Okay, so this is just me throwing up an interesting juxtaposed image on a Time Magazine article. The article, “What Makes a School Great“, covers the new Waiting for “Superman” movie that is a documentary on the […]
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Letter from Scout Camp
Posted on 30. Jan, 2010 by Unknown Author.
Dear Mom & Dad,
Our Scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and are worried. We are okay. Only one of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got […]
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Desert or Dessert Vultures?
Posted on 10. Jan, 2010 by Unknown Author.
Stole this from my brother’s FB page as it made me lahaff!
Two vultures were in the desert eating a dead clown. The first vulture asks the second vulture […]
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Google is for Searching the Web
Posted on 23. Dec, 2009 by Jeff Lambert.
With Christmas fast approaching,
with Social Networking on the rise,
you must remember Google’s watching,
and keep this in mind… […]
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An Actual Craig’s List Personals Ad
Posted on 11. Nov, 2009 by Unknown Author.
I doubt this ad is true but, either way, it’s pretty darn funny. Evidence again that one should not bring a knife to a gun fight. […]
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Lipstick in School
Posted on 22. Oct, 2009 by Unknown Author.
According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and […]
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Pun of the Day 10
Posted on 14. May, 2009 by Unknown Author.
And, finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
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Pun of the Day 9
Posted on 13. May, 2009 by Unknown Author.
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (Oh, man, this is SO BAD, it’s good) a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
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Pun of the Day 8
Posted on 12. May, 2009 by Unknown Author.
A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to ‘persuade’ them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he’d be back if they didn’t close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
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Pun of the Day 7
Posted on 11. May, 2009 by Unknown Author.
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Ahmal. The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him Juan. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, ‘They’re twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Ahmal.’
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Pun of the Day 6
Posted on 10. May, 2009 by Unknown Author.
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. But why they asked, as they moved off. ‘Because,’ he said, ‘I can’t stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.’
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Pun of the Day 5
Posted on 09. May, 2009 by Unknown Author.
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
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Pun of the Day 4
Posted on 08. May, 2009 by Unknown Author.
Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, ‘I’ve lost my electron.’ The other says, ‘Are you sure?’ The first replies, ‘Yes, I’m positive.’
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